[2] Causes of Conflict

Example: Miscommunication

Pierre was a consultant with a successful business who had started doing work for Sam, another consultant. Sam would hire out Pierre's services and take a fee in the process. One day Sam called and said he had a lead if Pierre wanted to take it. Sam indicated on the phone that "this isn't the kind of work we are interested in, so if you want to bid it and get the work, just pay me a finders fee." Pierre was successful in getting the work and communicated this to Sam. Sam immediately began telling Pierre how he wanted him to do the work. Pierre thought the work was his alone because of what Sam had said and communicated this to Sam. Their discussions were cordial and businesslike. 

Two weeks later, Pierre received a nasty letter from Sam's lawyer indicating he had stolen the work from Sam. Pierre attempted to contact Sam, but Sam wouldn't talk with him. Pierre was hurt and angry, and began talking to lawyers. Then he realized that more money would be spent on the conflict than the contract was worth, so tried another method. Pierre wrote Sam an email telling his rendition of the story, and offering to do the work under Sam's company name, and pay Sam the agreed finders fee. After some continued discussions, Sam agreed. The work was performed, everyone received their appropriate share of the fee, and the problem was resolved. After the work was complete, Pierre decided never again to work with Sam.

The problem in this story began with a miscommunication. Each person thought they knew what the real agreement was. Pierre appreciated the work Sam was giving him, so would have resolved it to Sam's satisfaction. But Sam wouldn't talk except through his lawyer. This aggravated the situation, angered Pierre, almost causing him to get his own "gladiator" to do battle. The costs would have soared. Instead, Pierre opened himself up (became vulnerable) and approached Sam to see if they could resolve this themselves. It worked, and the conflict was resolved. The emotional impact on Pierre was significant, however, seeing a side of Sam he didn't know existed. So he decided to never again do business with Sam.

 

Recommended Processes:
Why We Click with Some and Clank with Others – DISC Behavioral Profile Session
Resolving Conflict

Recommended Resources:
Leading Style Article
Everything DISC Series